Insanity from Zanzibar19.com

This one has me scratching my head. It is a ridiculous place to be in, but, well, here it is.

I've just come home from MIAMI VICE. I've had higher hopes than most it seems, given the greatness of Michael Mann has displayed all the way back to the days he sheparded VICE on TV. HEAT, THE INSIDER, COLLATERAL... I've actually been looking forward to this movie as more than the lame DUKES OF HAZARD class TV to movie exercises.

But my enjoyment of the film was gobsmacked by this weird fragility in all films: If one detail is off, the spell is broken. The detail here was Colin Farrell's scruffy/pretty hair and his mutton chop mustache. Is this a flimsy pretnese to kick a passable summer action film around? Yes. Can I help it? No, and it's driving me crazy. Wish I could forgive it, given my respect for Mann, but I cannot. There were whole scenes where I couldn't follow the rat-a-tat dialogue because I was distracted by the absurdity of Farrell's hair. It was like the zombie head of a 1978 truckdriver had been graphted onto Mann's lead. The action was good, the characters were terse and layered as you might expect, and the glossy coolness was as good as you'd expect from, well, the Mann. But I could enjoy almost none of it.

Can a movie be wrecked by a bad haircut? I guess it can, which surprises and irritates me because I'm not one of these nit-picker armchair Scorseses that piss on everything that rubs me the wrong way as bad filmmaking. I can see past a few bad, or even big, faults in a movie if the underlying quality is there. But, I'm telling you... You've got to see this hair.

So this is how it all begins.

This is Christopher Allan Smith and Ryan Neisz saying hello from our new entertainment mission, Zanzibar19. We're the creators of SNOWMEN HUNTERS, and you 're looking at the first entry in our new blog about all things Zanzibar19. Which, honestly, right now that pretty much means all things SNOWMEN HUNTERS.

Now, you might ask, ''Who are you, and why should we care, taint face?''

Well, first off, what 's with the attitude? Really. Taint face? Is that necessary? Funny, yes, but you 're talking to us like we made you watch JOEY or something.

Second, we 're a couple of talented and kind of cocky hustlers who have nearly cracked into the Hollywood entertainment fortress a few times over the years. Well, we 're tired of waiting. With the arrival of iPods, cheaper professional digital filmmaking tools, and the deluge of podcast and video sites, Old Hollywood 's strangle hold on big audiences is finally broken.

The jig is up. We 're storming the doddering network 's castle and gonna burn it down from the inside. Well maybe. Old Hollywood may see the light and surrender. We 'll let them surrender, I guess.

So with this attitude and a few well chosen tools, namely our beloved Panasonic DVX-100A, our background in entertainment production and lifelong love of every kind of ridiculous comedy, we 're going to be rolling out every crooked idea in our heads for your entertainment. Our first entry? The aforementioned SNOWMEN HUNTERS.

It 's the touching story of Sherman Rance, a shotgun toting madman, and his drooling fool of a sidekick, Everett van der Sloot. It 's Sherman 's manic belief true evil in the world is embodied in snowmen, and we won 't be safe until they 're exterminated. What 's made him so crazy? Why does he have a child molester 's flattop? What horrid secret has turned Everett into a retard? (Save your emails kids. Retard. We said it. Retard, retard, retard). And what is it about snowmen they think is so threatening?

Find out when SNOWMEN HUNTERS debuts on a Wednesday in the next few weeks. We 're a little gray on the exact Wednesday. How gray? Charcoal. (A hooray for you in this blog if you can name that reference). Actually, we 're going to have new SNOWMEN HUNTERS every Wednesday, but we need to make sure everything is in place, so we 'll be coming at you soon with a premiere date. Expect it in August or early September at the latest.

So okay, is this blog going to be just a bunch of shilling for SNOWMEN HUNTERS?

Yes. Um... no. No. Definitely not. Well, probably. I 'm sorry, what answer are you looking for?

Okay, it won 't. In the coming days, we 'll be using this blog as an outlet for our ideas/rants/observations/reviews of everything entertainment, both on and off the web. If we see something we like, we 'll let you know. Here 's our first offering now: Watch every episode of Ask a Ninja and Puppet Rapist you can. They 're on the web. Email us if you need the links.

If we see something we don 't like, we 'll let you know too. If it 's bashing Rob Schneider, it 's probably me, Chris, writing. If it 's bashing, I don 't know, Mother Theresa, puppies, or defenseless penguins or something, it 's probably Ryan talking. Hmmm. Ryan might not like the fact I revealed that. Anyway...

So hello, and thanks for your attention. Watch this space for more insanity soon.